| so i was talking to this girl i like(lets call her laura)..and i've been playing it very well..things have been going good..and then she asked me to describe my perfect girl...i said
"my perfect girl..umm...she's gotta b the type of girl that can get ready in 10min...would rather have a cheeseburger or a burrito than a salad...she's gotta be very easy going...talkative and she's gotta be able to trust me and tell me stuff...deff a partier..shes gotta be the girl that can be my best friend and my gf...where we can hang out and have a good time without having to be all over eachother"
and then i realized..i described russo..i didnt mean to...but she's my perfect girl...and it shocked me..i was talking to laura...being very smooth...hitting on her but not overdoing it or being too blunt....and its like i tripped...when i thought of russo....i just told laura everything..the whole russo story...it just started pouring out..and i couldnt stop it...i thought i just screwed thigns up with laura but i played it well and it worked out to my advantage..cuz i told the part where russo treated me like shit..and laura melted..but still..being reminded of russo..of how much i loved her...makes me stop to catch my breath..seeing her in skool...it almost knocks me over...
282 more days!! i cant wait |
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| life seems so....bland...boring...its not even that anythings going specifically wrong or bad or anything like that...its just...nothings going right...
as some of you already know i dont have a license...not anymore...freedom was dangled infront of my face...as soon as my parents started to get used to the idea..and started to let me drive my car more...that lil plastic card that meant the world to me got ripped outta my hands...but that was almost 3 months ago now...but the point of all this is that i cant go anywhere anymore..im stuck at home way more now...
and thats just my social life...my love life fell apart....i think i've finally given up on russo...i love her but its an unrequitted love...she will never love me back...and she's very clearly so much happier and so much better off without me...so i should b happy that she's happy...im starting to like this girl...i've known her for a while now...i met her through one of my ex's(i met her while i was dating the girl)..i dunno...we'll see where it goes..
school's almost done..i cant wait...
i wonder if anyone reads this? |
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| i had one moment of weakness...i made a mistake..and im still paying for it...i was sooo mad about russo and how she dicked me over...and then my ex kristen..made funna me..and i just took it all out on kristen...and now all of kristen's friends(most of whom i met b4 i met kristen and i concidered my friends) hate me...they ditched me because they dont wanna hang out with me anymore...i lost some close friends...or at least i thought they were close...
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| things with russo really didnt work out...i mean i love that girl..i always have..i just never wanted to admit it because she deserves better than me.....this is the third time something's happened between us and i've fallen for her all over again...and tried to make it work again(no we've never dated but we've been best friends for over a year)...only to get dicked over..im fed up with it...she's said it before...sometimes she likes me sometimes she really doesnt...its true..she'll like me for 2 days then decided she doesnt anymore..it depends on what mood she's in..and i cant put up with that..i dont wanna deal with someone who only likes me when she's in a good mood
i think..i hope this time im finally over her for good..i hope this time it stays that way..because i cant get strung around anymore and im sick of her fucking with my head...
i dunno..i love russo..as a friend..and as more then a friend...and i know that i'd take a bullet for her in an instant..but i wont let her fuck with my head.. |
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